Tuesday, 1 February 2011

The tale of an Happy marriage!

Well, I dont want to be redundant when I write, But this is one topic which intrigues me all the time!.. Happy Marriage!..

What is a happy marriage? When can we consider people to be happily married? How to we deem a marriage successful/unsuccessful?

These are some of the questions that I keep pondering over. Let me tell you my reader, I am married for 3 years now. My marriage is successful and happy when I speak to some of my friends who have had troubled marriages. The same is true according to my parents, relatives etc. The same is true for me too if I compare it with some of the contemporaries that I have seen. But still, these questions loom over my head.

Well, I have been always told to be writing something about marriage, the inside stories of marriage and share my experiences. Here are some of them.

The main reason why I ponder whether my marriage is happy or not is that in the last 3 years, it has been a herculean task to have a normal conversation with my partner. That, We come from very different social backgrounds forms the crux of all the arguments we have. I have given up on finding ways to make my partner understand what is Love, attachment and emotions.
Don't assume he has none of them, For, He is a wonderful person who loves his family, Ensures every minute of his free time is family time, is a dutiful father and a caring husband.
Confused my reader!.. I know you are, cos I myself am. I have hit the dead end in understanding why such a caring person is so detached from everybody other than me and my son!, for E.g., when my father sent something he required without delay, just because he did not need it anymore, He didnot bother to collect the parcel!.. Here is where I am stuck, How do I make him realise that when people to something for us, the least we could do is appreciate their effort!...

The other reason why I am confused is his temperament!... His punch line always has been " Expenses for some things which are necessary for a comfortable living are acceptable" But till today, I am unable to define, what he thinks is necessary and what is useless :) For e.g. He tells me, if you are tired don't cook, we can order something from outside. Think it is good!, Now read the downside, the next day he complains that we are unnecessarily spending on eating out.   In such a case, what do I do? Am I not entitled to being tired when I have to manage, office, home and kid at the same time?

He is too too too compassionate towards others which is the other reason why we argue. If the maid absents her self, he says she might have some problem at home, which is fine and understandable, But even if she repeats the same almost every alternate day, Should I not fire her and hire another one? According to him, No, cos, We need to understand their problems. I wish I had such an employer cos, when I try to explain the same to my supervisor, I am told in my appraisal, U take too many unplanned leaves and hence I cannot give u a 5 :)..

O.K my reader, this is not a complaint post about my husband. Anyways, if You really want to know the insight of marriage all these things I guess do make some impact.

Trust me, No Man is perfect, so no marriage is. But if both Husband and wife are able to live with imperfections as the above, the marriage is not only happy and successful, but it is close to being perfect. Mine is!

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