Friday, 25 February 2011

The task of Home making!

I am a forced full time house wife from 10 days now. Although my son is perfectly active and is upto his usual antics, Since he has chicken pox, he cant be sent to school!.... Which leaves me little choice...

These 10 days have been the most illuminating days of my life... First, I realized what I am missing in my life..  (my Son's antics, growing up). Second and the most important thing, It is not easy to be a house wife!...

When my son got diagonised with Chicken pox, My first reaction was sadness, I was sad that my son had to go through the whole thing and moreover, I had to take a leave of absence  But deep down inside, I was welcoming the break.

I thought, Now, I could relax, watch TV whenever I want and  catch upon my favorite shows, have a good afternoon siesta, Cook my favorite food, read my favorite books, do my favorite activities...  Cos, I always used to think that a house wife is the luckiest human being on earth, since, she didnot  bother about earning money nor had to work hard for a living..

Now that I was a interim Housewife.. I thought upon myself that I will do things that a house wife would do. My maid also supported me in this cause by taking a leave of absence without informing me. This made me do all the trivial things like making chapatis, doing the dishes, running the vaccum, Dusting the windows or scrubbing the floor. I further stopped bringing cut veggies, but brought vegetables off the cart in a vegetable market and cut them myself. Washing machine was switched off for a while and I used to wash clothes myself, since I thougt it would be unhygeinic, given that we had a sick child @ home.  On top of all this I had a hyper active son who was always upto some or the other mischief.

Honestly, I could never catch a wink of sleep that I was so eagerly looking forward to, Neither could I ever read my favorite book. Ofcourse, I could do the cooking bit!... Cos, My husband had taken upon himself to demand anything and everything off the global cuisine on the menu.. So, There I was slogging in the kitchen, One day making italian pasta, the next day making his favorite Gulab jamuns or My son's favorite soup!.... And at the end of each day, I was so worn out and tired. This kind of tiredness was alien to me..

As I am working, I had a lot of facilities at home, like There was a maid who used to come in twice daily for cleaning and washing the dishes, She used to hang out the washed clothes and the sundried clothes were sorted for ironing. There was one more maid who used to come in to make the chapatis. I had everything at my door step which was normally ordered by the maid. I never used to find time to properly cook. I never tried to cook anything complicated and always stuck to easy 10 min recipes. Still, I used to feel tired at the end of the day and used to pride myself that I handle both home and office single handedly!

For the first time in my life,  I realized that being a home maker is no joke...

We never appreciate the efforts of our mothers/wives who work so hard during the day and cook for us, clean our houses, ensure our clothes are washed ironed and stacked neatly. For us, they were such menial tasks which didnot require any hardwork or effort.
I have heard my colleagues speaking @ office, so what if my wife has to get up early to cook, She has all the time in the day when she can rest.

Trust me, After I have experienced it myself, I would say, It is the home maker who is always late to bed, early to rise and strives to make our lives healthy, proper and nice!....

Tuesday, 1 February 2011

The tale of an Happy marriage!

Well, I dont want to be redundant when I write, But this is one topic which intrigues me all the time!.. Happy Marriage!..

What is a happy marriage? When can we consider people to be happily married? How to we deem a marriage successful/unsuccessful?

These are some of the questions that I keep pondering over. Let me tell you my reader, I am married for 3 years now. My marriage is successful and happy when I speak to some of my friends who have had troubled marriages. The same is true according to my parents, relatives etc. The same is true for me too if I compare it with some of the contemporaries that I have seen. But still, these questions loom over my head.

Well, I have been always told to be writing something about marriage, the inside stories of marriage and share my experiences. Here are some of them.

The main reason why I ponder whether my marriage is happy or not is that in the last 3 years, it has been a herculean task to have a normal conversation with my partner. That, We come from very different social backgrounds forms the crux of all the arguments we have. I have given up on finding ways to make my partner understand what is Love, attachment and emotions.
Don't assume he has none of them, For, He is a wonderful person who loves his family, Ensures every minute of his free time is family time, is a dutiful father and a caring husband.
Confused my reader!.. I know you are, cos I myself am. I have hit the dead end in understanding why such a caring person is so detached from everybody other than me and my son!, for E.g., when my father sent something he required without delay, just because he did not need it anymore, He didnot bother to collect the parcel!.. Here is where I am stuck, How do I make him realise that when people to something for us, the least we could do is appreciate their effort!...

The other reason why I am confused is his temperament!... His punch line always has been " Expenses for some things which are necessary for a comfortable living are acceptable" But till today, I am unable to define, what he thinks is necessary and what is useless :) For e.g. He tells me, if you are tired don't cook, we can order something from outside. Think it is good!, Now read the downside, the next day he complains that we are unnecessarily spending on eating out.   In such a case, what do I do? Am I not entitled to being tired when I have to manage, office, home and kid at the same time?

He is too too too compassionate towards others which is the other reason why we argue. If the maid absents her self, he says she might have some problem at home, which is fine and understandable, But even if she repeats the same almost every alternate day, Should I not fire her and hire another one? According to him, No, cos, We need to understand their problems. I wish I had such an employer cos, when I try to explain the same to my supervisor, I am told in my appraisal, U take too many unplanned leaves and hence I cannot give u a 5 :)..

O.K my reader, this is not a complaint post about my husband. Anyways, if You really want to know the insight of marriage all these things I guess do make some impact.

Trust me, No Man is perfect, so no marriage is. But if both Husband and wife are able to live with imperfections as the above, the marriage is not only happy and successful, but it is close to being perfect. Mine is!