Tuesday, 31 August 2010

Weighty Issues

I happened to read a book on weightloss. Now, This is one goal I have never been able to achieve no matter how hard I try...  Funny, I should say How hard I try :)..

Honestly, I dont think I have that spark in me to go through a diet plan completely. I have always been on a diet all my life.. When I was about 5,( that is the longest memory of myself that I have) I was always regarded as a chubby baby, my mom used to flaunt me for being so healthy, chubby and cute(??).. My mum was always swarmed with questions like what she gives me to eat? How does she manage to make me eat? etc.. Well, Honestly, I dont think my mum had any problem making me eat anytime in her life!( coupled with the fact that I love eating). When I grew up, i.e I went into my teen years, the same chubbiness was regarded as fat. Again, My mum was swarmed with questions like why she is not controlling my diet? Doesnt she think I am fat? Etc..

Reader, Did you notice the change in the type of questions... Well, anyways, that is not the topic of discussion. Going on from there, My mum suddenly realised I eat too much and asked me to refrain from eating.( She still tells me not to eat by the way). Today, I am about twice my age since my earliest teen age now but I am still clueless about how to refrain from eating.

Somehow, I cannot stop myself from eating what I want. I feel so hungry that I feel, I will die! is this normal? As I grew up, I got aware that I was never meant to be a model or a heart throb of my college, I settled down in my jeans and a loose tshirt inorder to hide my flab. What did I lose? My self Confidence.
I started hating socialising, going to parties became a hazard to me. I hated even talking to people because, I was normally asked Why dont I lose some weight? and used to get about a 100 suggestions to lose weight.

I was just analyzing my situation when I happen to read this book on weight loss. All my life, people have made fun of how I look( even now they do), I have been suggested a million ways to lose weight ( even my Gym instructor for that matter) and been regarded as fat!..

Honestly, I am fitter than most of the slim people around me. I have an immense stamina, can do my work on my own, Can actually do more than most of the average individuals at my age. But still, Where ever I go, Which ever book I read, I feel Flattened!.. My spirits are lost!... I donno what to do!

On an average day, My diet includes,

Morning Snack:
1 Fruit
Mid Morning
Evening Snack

I walk almost an hour daily/ do my gymming regularly. Am I missing something? Is this not the ideal diet suggested by every dietician in this world? Then why am I not losing weight?

Even when I go to buy clothes, I am branded with a size which is unvailable in most of the brands.. All I have to make do is with the most unfashionable clothes on this earth!.. I mean come on, What has size got to do with fashion?
I am really frustrated with life, not because I am fat ( although, I prefer to be called healthy) but because of all these issues I face. I mean, I dont understand what is the fun in putting down a person's spirits just because the person is XL sized?

I really hope someday, I would be able to prove to these people that external looks dont really matter. What matters is the inner self!..

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